getting better at that mystical trait of being patientPatience. It means a lot of things to people. You go through life hearing well-meaning phrases like "patience is a virtue," and often it's one of those traits put up on a pedestal so that all of us flawed human beings can stand at the bottom and stare in awe and wonder at the infallible people on top.
why?If you're anything like me, you probably remember being a child and told to be patient while waiting endlessly to get to the front of a line. As you got older, the concept became more complex. You have to be patient with people- they're not perfect. You have to be patient for success- it takes time to come. You have to be patient even though it seems like there is nothing good waiting for you at the end. You've probably seen an impatient child throwing a tantrum in a store. You might have also seen an impatient adult throwing a tantrum in a store (they can look pretty similar). Obviously, a certain extent of patience is required to truly be accepted in our society. No one wants to hang out with the person that makes a fuss every time someone runs a bit late for a meetup. Being tolerant, or at least maintaining a facade of tolerance, is one of those things that is just considered polite. DELAYED GRATIFICATION There is something intangibly wonderful about getting something you've wanted for a long time. Intentionally practicing delayed gratification can have twofold benefits; you get that feeling of satisfaction that comes with finally receiving what you desire, and avoid wasting resources on mere impulses or repeated wants. Imagine you want a slice of chocolate cake today. You can easily go out and buy one, but you also know that there will be cake available at an event you'll be attending in two days, and you probably won't be able to resist that cake either- it's really good. Do you go ahead and get that cake that you want right now, or do you wait and buy the slice in a few days?
howBuilding patience will take time, just like any form of self-improvement. Your objective is to change the way you react until it becomes automatic and changes your way of thinking as well. To start toward that, there are a few simple steps to keep in mind next time you feel yourself becoming impatient. 1. Slow Down and Think Consciously choose to stop and consider the situation. This will probably be hard at first, but just keep trying and eventually it will become an ingrained habit. Ask yourself: does this really impact me? If so, is it really difficult for me to recover from? 2. Analyze Yes, getting stuck behind a slow walker or talking to a person that just isn't paying attention is annoying, but is it really worth getting upset over? The person or situation that's bothering you will go away, and you're the one that would have to deal with those feelings. 3. React Once you've realized that something is not a big deal, you'll probably already start to feel calmer. At first, you might also have to try other methods to relieve frustration, such as taking deep breaths or counting. At it's core, patience is really just habitually deciding not to react to a situation. Eventually, this choice to not react will become so ingrained that you likely won't even feel upset by the situation anymore. You might even notice that you feel more at peace. (Today's photos are from Unsplash, courtesy of Deniz Altindas, Jordane Mathieu, and Masaaki Komori.)
0 Comments
(Full Disclosure: As a teenager still living at home, I obviously don't have many bills to pay. This is less specific budget advice and more general things I've learned and know about money and life.) Money: that wonderful, terrible thing that I spent a portion of my childhood watching people- family, friends, and people that were nearly strangers- be concerned about. I never got a reliable allowance as a child. My parents meant to, several times, but they were forgetful. I did get money on holidays, and saved almost all of it in a little wallet that was soon stuffed full of small bills. I work a part-time job these days in food service. My paychecks are pretty small, but that's what you expect from a first position. Obviously, I am not yet handling large sums of money, but there are a few things I have learned from the experience so far. 1. Put aside money for small, fun purchases I'm not here to tell you the obvious things. There are people with a lot more financial knowledge that can teach you how to budget or pay down debts. That being said, I think there's something valuable in having an amount, however small, to use when you want to buy frozen yogurt or a paperback book that's on sale. It helps to reduce spending anxiety, and I find it helps reduce impulse purchases when you don't deprive yourself of the occasional "silly" buy. Just keep it cheap. If you don't spend it, no problem. Just put it in your savings! 2. Have specific savings goals When I first started having any real amount of money in my savings account, I spent several months with it just being one lump sum. When I sorted the numbers into actual goals, I was much more motivated to actually add money to savings. Plus, I found out that I could actually afford some concert tickets that I'd been eyeing. 3. Emergency fund Yes, I know I said I wasn't here to tell you obvious things. But the emergency fund? Just do it. I have very few recurring expenses, and I'm still working on building up a nice chunk of emergency money. The amount will vary based on your specific situation, but you usually want to aim for at least three months of income. Six months is better.
I'm sure I have a lot more to learn about finance and the effective use of money, but I feel like sometimes, the most important principles are the simplest ones.
What a complicated concept. What do I want? Recently, a set of circumstances have caused me to consider more heavily what my motivations are for this blog. I have a lot of them:
But another major reason that I write is because I want to help. I want the people that read my content to find an idea that will help them with a panic attack, or a way to conceptualize one of their goals. There's something that's really reassuring about that when I'm having a rough period with my mental health; there's something nice about knowing that I might not be okay at the moment, but maybe I can help someone else get there. I talk a lot about the importance of writing down goals, so that's what I'm doing now. So, what do I really want for everyone in this tiny community (and everywhere, but one thing at a time)? Put most simply: Happiness. Peace. Self-love. Well, I did it again this past week or two- total mental shutdown. I'd love to say there was a reason for it, but honestly I have no idea why it happened. I just found myself unable to muster the motivation for anything that I wasn't specifically required to do. I deleted every game off my phone that required a commitment like a daily check in or real time progression. And although I'm not proud to say it, I unintentionally abandoned a team on a multiplayer app for a few days and was so stressed about it I just deleted that as well. There haven't been any huge changes still, but today I was at least able to make myself sit down and get out the laptop, so here I am. One major development? I downloaded Stardew Valley for eight dollars and discovered that it actually has a quality that helps me a bit. Something about the mix of engagement and its unavoidably slow pace is infinitely relaxing to me. I just started the game recently, so my farm is mostly just a field of parsnips, a few green bean plants, and an unfinished chicken coop. But I also love the progress of clearing out the fields and building things. Sometimes I wonder why people adore escapism so much. It seems that no matter how good our real lives are, humans have this desire to experience something else. We spend time reading, playing video games, watching TV shows about people with more interesting lives. We daydream about a perfect future, usually without doing anything to reach it. I'm guilty of it too; it's part of why I want so badly to travel the world. I don't even think it's necessarily a bad thing. Maybe it helps to keep us moving toward that undefined goal of a better future. The problem arises when we let ourselves stagnate and try to satisfy the desire with fiction and observing people on social media instead of making progress in our own lives. That's the main reason I made myself write today, hard as it was to get started. I don't want to end up just sitting around and wondering why I'm not successful.
Meal Prep: That thing so often associated with successful people, healthy eating, and the gold standard of lifestyles.
I know from personal experience that starting such an involved habit can seem exhausting, but I'm also going to be honest; if you've ever wondered if you should start planning and preparing your meals in advance, the answer is probably yes. There are just so many benefits to be had in exchange for a relatively low amount of effort:
During the school year, I got into the habit of prepping four days' worth of food every week. Since most recipes are only written for four servings, and food doesn't keep forever in the fridge, I typically made the fifth day either leftovers, or something simple like soup or a salad.
The result? I was able to eat healthy, genuinely delicious meals almost every day. I also drastically increased my cooking skills (when I first started I could barely make noodles and rice). I've stopped doing it as often during the summer, but I plan to start again as soon as I can get some recipes together and get to a grocery store. I'm a major advocate of meal prep, but I don't claim to be an expert on it, and I'm nowhere near producing my own recipes just yet. If you want to get started, here are a few collections of recipes and tips for pre-making your meals. Happy cooking! Hi everyone. Happy June. Sorry for the lack of posting. As you might have guessed from the title, I've been having a bit of a rough time lately. I'm a super routine oriented person, so summer time carries a special kind of anxiety for me; I constantly feel like I should be doing something else, and like I'm running out of time. It's difficult to pinpoint exactly when I started experiencing symptoms of an anxiety disorder. If I had to guess, the first signs were probably around six years ago. It only got worse with time, and for most of that period, I had no idea what was wrong. I eventually stumbled onto the symptoms of anxiety disorders, and especially depression, on Pinterest. That coincided with a pretty dark time for me, and I spent hours scrolling through those pins, finally feeling like I wasn't crazy. The downside? I think in a lot of ways it actually worsened my symptoms. In the end, I did manage to pull myself out of that hole. Almost a year ago, I was officially diagnosed, and I started mediation and therapy. And it's still hard. I still have really bad days. I still go weeks feeling like there's something just at the edge of my mind. Sometimes I feel empty. Sometimes I feel tired. Sometimes I just feel sad. But I'm better, and I'm still getting better. I don't know how long it will take-probably years-but I do believe that some day I'll be able to function normally. It may never really go away, but it's that belief that keeps me going sometimes: that things will get better in the future. I guess the main reason I've put all this out there is to say that it does get better. If you're like I was not that long ago, and feel like you're stuck in a tunnel with no end, I want you to know that you just have to keep going. One day, you'll wake up, and realize that things aren't as bad as they were. This post is more of an update than anything else as I try to get back into the swing of things. I'm going to be working on revamping the website in the next few days. As always, thanks for taking the time to read my posts. It really does mean a lot.
I've written a lot lately about things you can add to your life to make yourself more relaxed and productive, but I know all too well how difficult it can be to find the time to do something new.
Having a set morning routine or evening routine can be super beneficial. They also, however, take some time to implement.
If you are looking for something simple to help improve your day-to-day life, mindfulness and intentional relaxation can be a good place to start. Even though these concepts are often associated with meditation, journaling, or breathing exercises, there are faster ways to introduce them to your daily routine. In fact, there's probably something that you already do that you can turn into a moment of mindfulness.
Obviously, this strategy isn't just limited to drinking a hot beverage. Part of the reason I wear makeup most days is because I enjoy the ritual of putting it on; of course, that's assuming I'm not rushing to leave the house again!
I really like this method because the biggest change you might have to make to your schedule is spending a few extra minutes on a task you were probably already planning to do. It's one of the simplest forms of mental self-care, something I'm sure many of us aren't able to spend enough time on.
It's also super easy to start doing, and pretty accessible. Just choose anything that doesn't require too much attention to detail, take a few deep breaths, and then let yourself drift off into your own thoughts.
I feel like there's a general feeling in society that if you're not spending a moment doing something productive, you're probably wasting it. That just isn't true. After all, if taking a few minutes during the day to relax and think freely can improve your mental state for the rest of the day (and trust me, it can), then imagine the benefits that humans could get from having more enforced break time.
I'm back with another routine post. (My first one is here). This time, I want to talk about the usefulness of a repeatable morning routine. Completing the same steps in a similar order every morning saves me a ton of stress and forgetfulness, and I'd like to teach you how to do the same! Having a morning routine has a lot of benefits for me:
Since I'm still trying to adjust to making posts on a regular basis, a morning routine also helps to get me into work mode and makes it easier for me to write, which is super important as I try to build that habit. When linked with an evening routine that helps you to prepare for the next day, morning routines can also help you to save time, focus on your goals, be more productive, and reduce stress. Just like with my last post, I'll share my usual setup with you, as an outline for your own routine, and then share some tips I've learned for trying to create and establish habits like these.
From there, I'm pretty much set to leave the house. On Saturdays, I've been trying to transition into blog mode after that, but sometimes it takes a few hours for me to get started if I even have the time. But just like I've said before, building habits is a process, and getting mad at yourself just makes you more likely to quit; I try really hard to keep that in mind in my own life, since I'm honestly a huge self-critic. As you may have noticed, most of what I listed out are things any person might do on any morning. For me, though this routine started as a way to make sure I got everything done in a timely manner. I'm currently focused on the blogging habit, but after that there are still things I want to add to my routines, like writing down goals for the day or acknowledging something I am grateful for each morning. It's an ongoing process, and this kind of thing is meant to change with you. My tips for this kind of routine?
By thinking about these things, you will be well on your way to making yourself a more productive and relaxed morning. Good luck everyone!
Side note: You might see some changes on my website and social media in the next few days. Now that I have a bit of a better idea of what I want to write about and how I want it to look, I want to start changing my platforms to reflect that better. I hope you like the new look!
When you're not feeling so great mentally, it can be easy to find yourself shut inside. You're probably too focused on getting needed things done, and since seasonal depression is definitely a thing, it might feel like the weather is matching a bad mood. That being said, it's super important to spend time outside, for both your physical and mental health. The physical benefits of spending time in nature are often just described as "feeling good," but there are actually specific effects that have been suggested by studies:
Outdoor activity has also been suggested to decrease the risk of nearsightedness in children, and walks in nature, especially forests, have been linked to improved memory and reduced blood pressure. Another obvious health benefit of going outside is that you are more likely to move. Even if you don't participate in any sort of vigorous exercise while you are out there, it is not uncommon to be hiking, swimming, or even just leisurely walking around. Any sort of movement is extremely important for your overall health and well-being.
Of course, with how busy life gets, it can be tough to spend lots of time outside. The good news is that you really only need fifteen to twenty minutes of outdoor time a day to start reaping the benefits of nature. In fact, just before writing this, I went out to my yard and simply sat in the grass for about ten minutes. That one action helped quiet my brain and my anxious thoughts more than anything else I've tried this week. As the weather starts to really get warm (at least where I'm at), it's important for all of us to remember how helpful nature can be for our health. So, try to make time this week to spend a few minutes outside; you might find that the results are incredible. It's been said countless times, but I'll say it again: there's something invaluable in making and sticking to routines. An evening routine can help you wind down, prepare for the next day, and get more restful sleep. For me, it gives me a set time to relax without worrying or thinking too hard about anything. My personal evening routine follows a general outline every night:
Once I am done with this first section, I move into a part of my routine that I follow much more strictly:
That being said, I know when I was still trying to develop this routine it frustrated me to see "advice" posts that were just people listing out their own bedtime routines. Never fear! In the process I also picked up some helpful tips that can aid you in building your own routine. 1. Consider What You Want To Do Every Night What is most important to you? Maybe you're tired of being rushed and unprepared in the morning. Maybe you need more time to reflect and relax in the evenings. Maybe you just feel like you've lost control of your time and want to get it back. Whatever the reason is, take that vague feeling of motivation and convert it into at least three things you want to accomplish each night. Remember that these don't have to be productive or impressive; just three or more things you would like to do every night. Think about these goals. Write them down somewhere. These are one of the stepping stones of building your routine. 2. Make Sure You Have the Essentials In addition to your specific goals, you need to make sure you're getting the important things done, too. If you have cleaning or other responsibilities, those need to get done. You also need to set aside time for anything you have to get done- taking care of pets, for example. Of course, you also need time to generally get ready for bed. When you're developing a plan for the evening, make sure to acknowledge each thing that must get done. 3. Build It Little By Little By now, you have a skeleton of an evening routine. If you're like me, it might help to write them down, in whatever level of detail you need. From there, you can start incorporating your plan into your life bit by bit. Remember that it takes twenty one days to build a habit. You also don't want to start doing too many new things at once, since this increases your risk of burnout. 4. Stay Committed Like with all new habits, there will probably be a point when it doesn't feel worth it to continue. You need to keep in mind the benefits of doing whatever habit you're currently working on. Go back to your original motivation- this is why it's a good idea to write it down! I know that I tend to have trouble when circumstances outside of my control force me to skip a day or two of something I'm working on. My brain will go into apathy mode, saying "What's the point? You're just going to mess up again." But even if you miss a day, or even a week, it's in your best interest to keep going. You'll thank yourself later. |
Archives
July 2019
Categories |